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Koylee. 19. Straight. Filipina.
3rd year college student.

Tumblr established on December 12, 2009 ♥♥


December 25, 2012

Writing my thoughts down..

Opening my Twitter and saw that my sissy Dolly mentioned me in a tweet alongside Champoy’s name. I didn’t know he had Twitter. I strongly suspected it, but I refused to acknowledge the fact that he indeed, has a Twitter account. Plus he denied it on countless occasion that he had account. BOOM!

Everything went downhill from there.

I got mad, hurt, pissed off, sad, and I even felt a twang of jealousy. I’m just a huge jumble of emotions right now. And I needed a place to blow off some steam because I couldn’t do it on Facebook or Twitter because of the obvious reasons.

People judge you all too quickly on Facebook and Twitter felt a little too suffocating and crowded at the moment..

Let’s go through each emotion, shall we?

MAD - I am fcking mad at myself and at him. Mad at myself because I refuse to believe that he does have an account though that small voice at the back of my mind told me that he does. And it all seems clear now. So it really was him. That @alienyou. And he denied it before. And badabing badaboom! That’s one reason why I’m so fcking mad. HE DENIED IT.

HURT - I’m hurt. Hurt because he denied it. I’m hurt because he lied to me. I’m hurt because he even blocked me from following him. Well, two can play his game. I blocked him as well but it won’t change anything because I know he wouldn’t follow me anyways. I’m just so fcking hurt.

PISSED OFF - I’m pretty pissed off by the fact that my sissy knows about this account ahead of me. But I can’t blame her, of course. I’m just pissed off, you know? Kung maka tweet silang duha, murag sab ug maka bati ko ug ka badtrip. Which leads us on to our next emotion…

JEALOUSY - I admit it and I won’t deny it. NAG SELOS KO. BIG TIME. As in big big BIG time. Pero I can’t blame both of them. They’re both adults and they know how to interact with one another. Pero can anyone blame me? I’m in love with that guy my sissy is tweeting with. But I am in no position to be jealous because I am not his girlfriend anymore. Yet the fact that they get along so well *Sigh* I will not stress over this anymore. I do trust them both.


I’m done spilling my thoughts into typewritten words on cyberspace.

Hmmm. Well.. I think I left out one last emotion I felt tonight..

LOVE - I am still absolutely, definitely, positively, unquestionably, no strings attached, beyond any doubt, unconditionally, infinitely in love with John Paul Chace Gabriel Quisumbing. Yes. After all this time. I am very much in love with him. I don’t know why, it’s been a long time since we broke up (April 24) but I never moved on since then. Yeah, I tried going out with other guys, liking other guys but I know that wala gyapun toy pulos ke si Poy ragyud ang naka tag iya, ug naa sa akong heart. Gugmaan kaayo ko niya, ambot nalang.

I STILL love you, I’m STILL willing to go the distance, I’m STILL willing to walk the miles, cry the tears, forgive the mistakes, make the memories and remember the little things. I’m STILL willing to give it my all for you, Poy.


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  1. heykoylee posted this